AoD#7: Mediation

My father, last week, played mediator between his mother and brother, as well as my own mother.

My rich uncle is finally going to be married, and the ceremony will be held on a yacht. He was concerned that neither me or my brother would want anything to do with him (being that we haven't seen him in well over a year, which is rather uncommon for us), and essentially voiced his concerns, saying that the food might not exactly be what we normally eat, there might not be enough room on the boat, and that it was an adult event (he didn't mean to sound condescending, he just wasn't sure if we wanted to come at all) but he also wasn't sure if we'd come to the reception afterwards. After hanging up, my father reiterated my uncle's views, but my mother drew conclusions that neither me or my brother could come and went on to speak with her mother in-law about this news. In turn, my grandmother verbally attacked and accused my uncle over the issue.

Eventually, despite the continuing anger, my uncle apologized completely and said that if "you want to come, then I want you to come." He blamed my father for his poor speaking skills on the whole event. All it had taken was my father calmly pointing out the facts to my mother: weddings were stressful, and on top of selling porches to the upper class, my uncle was dealing with his fiance and her child - even more so when he isn't the dominant one in the relationship, a new thing for him.

Even then, my mother simmered with anger, but my father's position, neutral despite his brother's relation and my part in the discussion. We eventually agreed that the reception was good enough for my brother and I, because we felt no special need to be there. Despite my mother's interpretation that we were being shunned from our uncle, we merely understood that, piled with all this stress, his words didn't quite come out as they should have.